Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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