Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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