tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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