Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
