I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
where am i from again
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Randomize
