dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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