I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
my being single is dangerous.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
