Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
