Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
