No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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