Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
