Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Randomize
