I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We are two peas in an std pod
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
