that's an acceptable place to lick
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
