**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
