Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
