my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
