I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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