So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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