yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
