Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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