Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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