I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She said her name was "party"
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
