When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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