On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
