How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
