im gay
i know
yea but for you.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
