i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
