I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
