one word: firstdatebathroomanal
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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