Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Acid is not a monday night drug
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
