So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
