a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
