Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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