he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
