Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
