he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
