no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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