Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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