this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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