If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
