I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
