Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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