So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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