you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
