she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
