Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
