I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize