She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
