just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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