I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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