who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think your dad took our porno
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
