I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm at about main and main street
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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