omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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