It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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