i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm passing your future prison.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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