i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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