No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
