I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
