Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
There's always time for handjobs
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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