i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
