Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize