you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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