I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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