I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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