I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
