I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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