just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
