would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
