You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
