Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
