to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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