Your tits are I can't wait for
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize