Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
