Three words: puerto rican gang bang
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize