Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
