So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
