I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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